Letting It All Out

I missed sitting in my room with my laptop in front me, getting in my feelings, and letting it all out here on my blog. It’s been months since I wrote my last post, and I realize that the reason I stopped writing this whole time is because I think I’ve just been afraid. Afraid to sit with myself and face my emotions again and leave them out in the open for anyone to see. I read back on all of my previous blogs and I feel so proud, mainly because I very genuinely opened my heart up in each one, and simply didn’t fear being vulnerable.

To be completely honest, I have been struggling to be that brave again and not be afraid to show who I am and how I feel. Every time I tried writing a new blog, I would stop myself because I began to question who may be reading them and what they may think or do. I felt like I had to have this guard up and filter the way I expressed my thoughts and emotions, which completely defeated the purpose of why I even started my blog in the first place. I’ve always wanted this to be an open diary, a place where I can be myself and just share with you exactly where my mind and heart are. A place where there is no fear, but just genuine hearts willing to come together and openly take in each other’s stories, experiences, and perspectives….so that’s exactly why I’m here right now, being as sincere as I can be.

The risk of how others may take my words will always be there, but the reward of creating this raw, open, and real space of purpose is far greater for me. I realize that sometimes we have to remember to keep listening to our hearts, and not let anything else get in the way.

I guess it just comes down to thinking about the bigger picture, and understanding that when God places a vision, dream or goal in our hearts, it’s because he has a very special purpose for it, and it’s up to us to not give up.

Just felt like I wanted to share this with you guys, but know that I’ll be writing a lot more.

P.S. Thank you to the person who challenged me to write again 🙂

Español

Extrañaba sentarme en mi habitación, en mis feelings, y desahogar todo lo que sentía aquí en mi blog. Hace meses desde que escribí mi último post, y me di cuenta que la razón por la cual había dejado de escribir es porque todo este tiempo creo que tenía miedo. Miedo a sentarme conmigo misma y enfrentar mis emociones de nuevo y dejarlas aquí para que cualquier persona las pueda ver. Leo mis blogs anteriores y en verdad me siento tan orgullosa, particularmente porque fui muy genuina abriendo mi corazón en cada uno, y simplemente no tenía temor a ser vulnerable.

Para ser completamente honesta, he estado batallando bastante para poder volver a ser valiente y no temer a mostrar quien soy y como me siento. Cada vez que intentaba escribir un nuevo blog, me paraba, y comenzaba a cuestionar quien lo estaría leyendo y que es lo que iban a pensar o incluso hacer. Me sentía como que tenía que tener demasiado cuidado y tener un filtro en la manera de expresar mis pensamientos y sentimientos, que es totalmente lo contrario al propósito por lo cual comencé mi blog. Siempre he querido que este sea un diario abierto, un lugar en donde puedo ser yo misma y compartir con ustedes exactamente lo que está en mi mente y mi corazón. Un lugar en donde no hay temor, pero si hay corazones genuinos dispuestos a unirse y abiertamente compartir historias, experiencias, y perspectivas…así que esa es justa la razón por la cual estoy aquí ahorita, para ser lo más sincera posible.

El riesgo de como otras personas tomarán mis palabras siempre va a existir, pero la recompensa de crear este espacio de propósito tan real y autentico es mucho más grande para mí. Me doy cuenta que a veces tenemos que escuchar a nuestros corazones, y no dejar que nada nos detenga.

Supongo que es cuestión de ver las cosas a largo plazo y entender que cuando Dios pone una visión, un sueño, o una meta en nuestros corazones, es porque él tiene un propósito muy especial con eso, y está en nuestras manos no rendirnos.

Solo sentía que quería compartir eso con ustedes, y que sepan que estaré escribiendo mucho más.

P.D. Gracias a la persona que me reto a escribir de nuevo 🙂

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