Love, Relationships, and Me

It is Friday night, and I am sitting in my bed debating whether or not I want to write about this subject. This is the piece of me that I like to keep private, and I don’t really like to share. It is crazy though because my heart has been telling me to write about this, but I somehow keep avoiding it.  Perhaps it is because opening up about this makes me VERY nervous and EXTREMELY uncomfortable, but as I wrote in my last blog, we have to be able to listen to our heart and not let fear stop us. So here I am writing to you guys about relationships and where my heart is currently at.

I guess I can start by letting you guys know that I am not in a relationship at the moment, and quite honestly, I have not been in some time. I question why a lot of the time, and I don’t really have an answer. Sometimes I think it is because I am not ready for one, or maybe I just haven’t found the right person.

Of course it would be amazing to have a significant other I can text all day, talk on the phone with for hours, and share experiences and moments with, but truth is, I want to have all of this with the right person. Often times we think we are alone, and we feel lonely , so we are quick to jump into relationships, even if it is with the wrong person. I think that the point of a relationship is not to be with someone just to be with them, it goes way beyond that. It is important to be with someone who we connect with on a deeper level, someone who we share morals and values with, someone who we can trust and who we know trusts us, someone who builds us up, and most importantly someone who helps us and allows us to be the best version of ourselves.

It is not easy to find all of that in one person, but that also does not mean that we should settle. It is all a balance. I think we should have our standards when dating, but also be open. We never know who or how someone can come into our lives. Love is very unpredictable; sometimes the person who we think is meant for us is simply not the right person, and the most unexpected person could be everything we were looking for in a partner. We must be open, and patient.

I think that we often begin to lose our patience because of external pressures such as society, social media, and sometimes even our own families. Society and our families tend to tell us what age we should be married by, when we should start having children, and our families never fail to ask at gatherings for our boyfriend/girlfriend. Social media of course shows us couples who make it seem like their relationships are perfect, and we then want that for ourselves. The pressure is everywhere, but we cannot allow that to make us jump into a relationship.

If we have somebody it is important to evaluate the reasons why we are with them, and we should ensure it is for the right reasons. If we don’t have somebody, we must remember that finding the right person takes times. With faith and an open heart, I am confident that the right person will come into our lives at the right time.

 

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Es viernes por la noche y estoy sentada en mi cama preguntándome si en realidad quiero escribir sobre este tema. Este es el lado de mí que me gusta mantener privado, y que muchas veces no quisiera compartir.  Es irónico porque mi corazón ya tiene rato diciéndome que escriba sobre este tema, pero yo estaba evadiendo hacerlo. Quizá es porque el abrirme sobre esto me pone MUY nerviosa y EXTREMADAMENTE incomoda, pero como dije en mi blog más reciente, debemos saber escuchar a nuestro corazón y no dejar que el miedo nos detenga. Así que aquí estoy, hablándoles sobre las relaciones y mi estado sentimental.

Supongo que puedo comenzar por dejarles saber que no me encuentro en una relación actualmente, y de hecho ya tengo tiempo que no. Muchas veces me pregunto porque, y no encuentro la razón. A veces pienso que es porque no estoy lista o quizá simplemente no he encontrado a la persona adecuada.

Obviamente me encantaría tener a esa persona a la que le puedo mandar textos todo el día, con la que puedo hablar por teléfono por horas, y compartir momentos y experiencias, pero la verdad, quiero tener todo esto con la persona adecuada. Muchas veces nos sentimos solos y eso hace que busquemos tener una relación, aunque sea con la persona equivocada. Pienso que el punto de una relación no es el estar con alguien solo por estar con ellos, si no que es mucho más allá de eso. Es importante estar con alguien con quien tengamos una conexión más profunda, alguien con quien compartamos valores y morales, alguien en quien confiemos y que sepamos que también confía en nosotros, alguien que nos apoye, y más que nada alguien que nos ayude y nos permita ser la mejor versión de nosotros mismos.

No es fácil encontrar todo eso en una persona, pero eso tampoco significa que debemos conformarnos. Debemos tener ciertos estándares. Todo es un balance. Debemos tener nuestros estándares cuando salimos con otras personas, pero también debemos ser abiertos. Nunca sabemos quién ni como alguien puede entra a nuestras vidas. El amor es tan impredecible, a veces la persona que creemos es la indicada para nosotros resulta no serlo, y la persona menos esperada resulta ser todo lo que buscábamos en una pareja. Debemos ser abiertos y pacientes.

Pienso que a veces comenzamos a perder nuestra paciencia por presiones externas como las sociales, y hasta de nuestras propias familias. Las presiones sociales y familiares nos dicen a qué edad ya debemos estar casados, cuando debemos tener hijos, y jamás falta en una reunión familiar que nos pregunten por el novio o la novia. Las redes sociales también juegan una gran parte en la presión que sentimos porque nos muestran a parejas que aparentan tener una relación perfecta y nos hacen sentir que también queremos eso. Las presiones están a todo nuestro alrededor, pero no debemos dejar que esa sea la razón por la cual tenemos una relación.

Si tenemos a alguien, es importante evaluar por qué estamos con ellos, y asegurarnos que estemos con ellos por las razones adecuadas. Si tenemos a nadie, debemos recordar que encontrar a la persona adecuada toma tiempo. Con fe y un corazón abierto, tengo la confianza de que la persona indicada llegará a nuestras vidas en el momento adecuado.

3,219 thoughts on “Love, Relationships, and Me

  1. I think this is such a great topic and can definitely strike out different view points. Amiga, I first would like to acknowledge you for writing this because I know how private you are so contratulations, you are amazing! I totally have the same view point on what relationships should be.

    Just to give my viewpoint: I think relationships now a days are so so hard to find because of what social media is portraying related to what is sexy, tolerated, and over all morals and expectations. I also think that too often we focus on what we think relationships should be and set unrealistic expectations. You have to be willing to give in order to receive. Truth is that no relationship is perfect and that’s the scary part, because no one wants to get hurt. I think being vulnerable and committing to a relationship you have to understand and accept that it’s not always about you, that you will be wrong, and most importantly understand that a relationship takes meeting each other halfway even when you don’t 100% agree with your partner (this is probably the most difficult thing about a relationship).

    You are powerful and your intentions are so pure. It’ll take someone out of the ordinary to sweep you off your feet my friend. You deserve the world!!

    1. OKKKKKKK literally typing this about to start tearing up!!! My beautiful friend thank you SOOOOOOOO much for this comment!!! You are COMPLETELY right!! We tend to go into relationships thinking they should be perfect, and we forget that we are humans, and perfection unfortunately, doesn’t exist. As you said we have to be wiling to compromise and work with EACH OTHER as opposed to focusing on ourselves and what we think a relationship should be. Appreciate you writing your viewpoint so much, and I love seeing you and your boo 🙂 LOVE YOU<3

  2. Thank you for opening to us about your personal life we know it wasn’t easy for you. Yeah our society is always pressuring us about our love life why we don’t have a significant other why this why that. But I do feel that the right one always come along at the right time. We don’t always get what we think we need god always has the right person for us

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    1. Wow well thank you to your brother for suggesting this blog, and thank YOU for reading 🙂 It means everything to me that you enjoyed reading this! Hope you also get a chance to read the other posts. Blessings

  4. Cindy, You really have a great gift with words but not only that, you are challenging yourself to be able to flow from the heart into your words. Not an easy skill but you are doing it.
    To be completely honest, as I was reading I felt like you were stealing most of my own private thoughts!! Lol it’s amazing that your heart is in that place of patience and not willing to settle. I myself spent a total of about 8 years CHOOSING to stay single because I wouldnt be pressured into dating simply because everyone else was. I was determined to wait and save myself for a very special woman in my eyes (whoever she would be), I spent years praying for whoever she was as well.
    Then came a day that I asked my father “how do I find the right woman??”….his response changed my life forever. He said “don’t focus on finding the right woman, FOCUS on being the RIGHT MAN”.
    In an instance my perspective changed forever and I realized the best way to find love was to let love find me, READY in its own time, and that I should focus on my character until then. 🙂
    I agree that you should never feel pressured by time or age or any media outlets. A woman’s heart should be reserved till the Right man is presented 🙂 no statistic should say otherwise.
    You’ve written a wonderful passage of how love should be attained. 😉 very cool. Lol

    And one thing I’ve taught my friends and younger men alike in my life is to never carry an “image of love”…meaning to not carry an image in your mind of what a person should look or sound like. Carrying an image in someone’s mind only narrows a tunnel through possibilities and a person might miss a special spirit that comes along because they don’t look as imagined.
    You briefly stated this as well! Love can simply come from anywhere, inside anyone, in any shape, color, or form.

    Anyways, your writing got me writing LOL.
    I loved the blog! I should seriously read more of your blogs!!!
    Keep going! And thanks for sharing from that secret spot!

    1. Hi Michael!!! Thank you so much for your comment! I am soooo glad you could relate! I think you said it beautifully, I write from the heart, and I think that is what makes this so real. We simply have to be patient, and always have faith 🙂

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